


Now it's our secret

by CallmeFeles



Category: South Park
Genre: Barbarian Tweek Tweak, Dirty Talk, Drunk Sex, M/M, Stick of Truth AU, Thief Craig Tucker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-24 00:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeFeles/pseuds/CallmeFeles
Summary: Feldspar woke up with a hangover and many questions about what did he the past night?Fortunately, maybe a barbarian had the answer.(I'm suck in summaries, but I promise that it is good)





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Actually Idk what the fuck I have done, but I liked it.  
> I'm not an English native speaker, so I'm so sorry if I have some errors.

Light.

Rays of light falling directly into his eyes, or rather, realizing it once the sharp headache in his head made him conscious. He opened his eyes painfully to notice the burst of pain that his head was giving him, that his body was giving him, along with that tremendous tiredness.

That pain could only be caused by a hangover, a result of drunkenness.

Craig sighed, it could not be possible, as much as he promised himself to drink in moderation, there was always something in his day that made him end up in token's tavern, but it was logical if we considered the life that tucker, Feldspar, better known to all the people of the town of ago, was a noble thief, who, after the war of the kingdoms ended up without the title of noble.

Being on multiple lists of _non grata_ people, due to their background and their profession, which was still robbery and especially for causing altercations when he was drunk.

However, when he woke up a little more, he noticed the lightness of his sheets, he was completely naked, Craig moaned with shame as he buried his head in his hands, not that it was anything abnormal that he got turned on when he was drunk, he tried to move through his sticky sheets with what might have been semen, yet, feeling that pungent pain in his ass, he knew for sure that there would also be lubricant.

He sighing even more embarrassed, his ass hurt like hell as if he had fucked that dildo his sister gave smuggled in for him, it was strange, the truth is he didn't use to play with his ass unless he found interaction with his handsome neighbor, a neighbor who had moved in two months ago.

Damn it, Feldspar reprimanded himself while with heavy and dull limbs he was heading to the bathroom to remove the sticky, god what had he shoved up his ass last night? He opened the shower to meet the messy bathroom, probably while in the middle of the night trying to find his hidden lubricant, no one could know he owned those things.

No one could know that the thief was not a worthy person, that he was a "weirdo" a phenomenon with fetishes and peculiarities worthy of the barbarians, no one could know that it was the boys who disturbed his body and not the most sensual nobles’ girls or courtiers.

Coming out of the bathroom and looking at himself for the first time in the mirror he found something unusual, the scratches on his back, bites, and hickeys all over his chest, oh fucking god! What had happened? Craig blushed and started to worry if anyone had discovered his sexual orientation, he'd be a dead man.

With regret, he left the room to his kitchen when he saw the damage and probably the vomit, he didn't even bother to put on all his clothes, simple pants, shirt and hat should do in case someone knocked on the door.

When entering the kitchen someone was found, the sweat became present along with the worry "I'm a dead man, I'm a dead man", it was said, yet he forced himself to face the mysterious person. Black leather boots with lambskin pants on the corners, a bow rested at his table.

It couldn't be possible.

That disgusting barbarian was soiling with his disgusting boots his mahogany table which had cost him a good bag of stolen pennies, the thief's eyes moved to the bare torso except for the black tattoos that ran all over his body, even his face, his gaze couldn't hide the annoyment. Why were the barbarians so... free them? They seemed to have no modesty about anything, even their unnatural carnal practices.

Practices that Craig was interested in, at least some of them and he practiced underground, maybe that's why they fell from his grace. Above all, the barbarian in his kitchen, the blond barbarian, Craig couldn't forget his name even if he wanted to.

Tweek.

The mythical prince of the barbarians who was supposed to be king, but gave up the office leaving the next one in line and going to live in the city, but with the quality of not dictating himself by the rules of it but continuing to live with that of the barbarians, the one who captured Feldspar and was a key to the defeat of the Dark Lord.

And he was in his fucking house when he had the mother of hangovers.

"You should get better coffee", said the blond, realizing the thief's presence with disinterest, "this is disgusting, but it works well for the need".

"It's not like I'm a big coffee drinker", he murmured in reply, only to be offended, he was upset. "Who permitted you to take my coffee? What the fuck are you doing in my fucking house?"

"Feldspar, do you remember what my fucking job is here?"

"No", Craig lied, of course, he knew.

"I'm a worker of the royal guard and the police", he said, "when the men who make rowdyism are often too aggressive", he explained, pretending that he did not know the thief was lying, "and they told me that Craig Tucker, better known as the thief feldspar, was a rather violent drunk" he smiled.

That son of a bitch, Craig wanted to wipe the smile off his perfect face.

But instead, he just growled:

"Get your filthy boots off my table", said Craig, Tweek giggle combined with a snort, "and you owe me a door, you probably knocked it down like the savage you are".

"I am offended, Mr. Tucker", mocked the barbarian by putting a hand on his chest as if he had been hurt by the disdainful remark of the thief, "but for your information, despite being a bloody thief, you have the most precarious security in the world, I only had to use a pin and voila the door was open".

Tweek offered him a cup of coffee, at any moment Craig would have thrown it in his face, but right he tired, sore one he felt he could do no more than taking a seat and take a couple of sips.

The barbarian remained silent all that time.

Little by little, the thief's mind began to fill with more lucidity, that and the stabbing pain in his ass, he realized that Tweek had been summoned because he was making a scandal... oh, fuck what kind of scandal?

The man's face began to dye red, as he tried with all his might not to look at the blond who had lowered his legs, he failed, watching the man who now rested his chin on his hands, who did not seem to have any indication that the weather affected his skin, who had an arrogant smile and...

Green eyes that looked at him with savagery, that must have been the answer, Craig felt as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, as his whole body in automatic reacted to that look lascivious gaze of the blond filled his whole field of vision.

"Go ahead, ask,' said Tweek, 'I know you are dying to ask me a certain question".

"I..." raked Craig. "What was the fuss I was making? I was drunk, and I don't remember".

"You don't remember anything?" Craig nodded, "nothing?"

"Fuck no!"

"In that case, I shall need another cup of coffee, this is will be long", said the brown one in the air, not quite sure whether it was for himself or both of us.

When he finished pouring himself a cup of coffee (and even creeper fact no sugar added, for Craig the blond was to be a freak with all the letters) he changed his position and sat right next to him, while his fingers rattled against the table, Craig pretended not to realize that at that moment, for the first time, he noticed that the barbarian was sexy, he wasn't sure whether that was caused by the mere fact that he was everything that Craig was forbidden or just his personality.

"Will you still have that idiot face?" face that looked very well, to Craig's regret, the black stripes gave him an exotic and dangerous look that was making him salivating, and I did not know why "or are you going to inform me why you are here?"

"I thought impatience was only yesterday's affair", Tweek cut off his speech, "not that I disliked it at all”.

"For a savage, you speak eloquently".

Tweek smiled apparently, taking the compliment with an insult tint only as a compliment.

"I was in the comfort of my house when I was summoned on a little matter called Feldspar, it seems not the first time you caused a fuss, and the people of the royal guard were coming to a limit, they probably imagined that I would be able to put a stop to you", he began, "I took the job with a heavy heart, I wanted to go home, and frankly I knew the insolence of this Feldspar, and I knew it would not be a very good case, and more when he was probably in an alcoholic state according to the reports...".

"Will you stop praising yourself and start telling me what interests me?" he cut out grumpy, the thief was tired, and did not need the barbarian's chatter.

"Then", he went on, completely ignoring that interruption, "I reached the abode of the said man, and after realizing that your security was so shitty that I wouldn't even have to do that thing you call of savage, I went through the door, I listened looking for where you'd be, you little drunk, and then I heard something very interesting. Do you want to know what I heard Feldspar?" Craig began to feel the sweat dripping and his body shaking at the tone of the blond's voice and the connotation, yet he nodded "moans, screams, you seemed to be in so much pain, I got scared thinking that maybe it was an altercation and you'd been badly hurt, so I followed the noises and they brought me to your room, my education suggested knocking on your door, but the context had me more than worried, so I opened and entered without warning... I found a whole scene, man".

"Oh" gasped the thief, who more than gasped look like a choked sigh, the fear, the excitement, was all present in his belly; the long fingers of the blond were caressing the side of his hand; he had not noticed when this happened.

" _Do you want to know what I ran into, Craig?_ ", Craig wasn't sure I could speak without being ratty and showing off what was running through his mind, so he just nodded off, "I found you, totally naked, masturbating, stroking your dick with despair, while two of your fingers of the other hand were on your ass, you were spreading your legs more and more, as if your fingers weren't enough for you", Craig's face dyed thousands of red hues, thinking, trying to unsuccessfully remember the look on this man's face when he found him so vulnerable and needy.

"And then?" he whispered, Tweek looked at him strangely as if he did not expect that question. "What then?"

"Well, as charming as the scene was, I had a job to do, and though I knew that nothing serious had happened, plus the fact that you emptied many bottles of wine of dubious provenance," he hinted that he had stolen them, but Craig did not care. "I said: sorry to interrupt your business, but um, I got called for a ruckus at your place and I think you need to decrease the volume."

"And what did I say?" Craig was desperately trying to remember, but except for the pain in his ass, hickeys, scratches, and bites, he was blank.

"Oh, well, you said something like, "you, filthy savage bastard, don't tell me what to do" while you gave me the obscene signal" the thief laughed is definitely something he would do even though he was in that situation "but then you called me a small cock" the blond's gaze darkened, Craig noticed that now the blond's fingers caressed his whole arm, the guy prayed to his erection that it wouldn't be noticed. "It was a pretty low blow considering that we barbarians are very proud, protecting my pride was just what inspired me to walk in front of you and show you that your words were fallacies, yet your gaze began to be... strange. And when I least expected it, you pushed yourself forward and swallowed my cock in its entirety".

A cricket was thrown by Craig as he hides on the table, covered the shame of his face, he couldn't believe he'd done that, he had to... god all the evidence pointed to it not being a joke, but he wishes it to be.

"And I'm starting the story, Craig" the barbarous mocked me, "you swallowed my cock even when it began to be hard, there I was, trying to get away, but the warmth of your mouth kept me from thinking rationally, with your tongue you rattled my balls, damn it Craig, I'd never met anyone who sucked my cock like you, you made me incoherent, It's as if you've wanted it all your life" Craig moaned feeling the touch of the intruding fingers on his other arm now, imagining the situation, throwing away for once what society dictated and rejoicing in the narrative and the caresses that could make him come with just that. "I was close to coming, but you stopped, you little son of a bitch, you stopped and then my brain got back in control, I was worried, what you'd done? Wasn't that forbidden here? Besides, you were drunk! But all you fucking did was get on all fours and beg me, "fuck me," you said".

There were not enough words to describe the shame Craig was feeling at the time.

"Of course, I told you that you were drunk and that you weren't in your mental faculties, that you probably would regret it in the morning, and you probably shouldn't have done it, but you kicked me, and you kept shaking that cute little ass, and then you said, "please, this may be my only chance to do something like this with someone... to be who I am." And I fell. You had prepared yourself without knowing. Would you know I was coming? Did you plan the whole thing? Neither one of us knows, at that moment I could only move my hips against you, you screamed, you moaned, if anyone saw us like this you were a dead man and I would probably be fired, but we went on, you asked, you begged me to give it to you harder, harder, faster, until we came screaming". Craig moaned, imagining it clearly, shouted, when he felt a pair of lips on his ear, the barbarian had assaulted and Feldspar did not plan to remove him to this point.

"Fuck", he gasped.

"After we end, about ten minutes later you said you wanted to fuck me, you didn't even let me process it" oh my god, "I couldn't believe it, for a drunk to get to a second-round should be impossible, but you have a high libido Craig and a grating ability with your tongue, you ate me whole, you enjoyed eating my ass and making a mess, and then you made me groan, scream, bite, scratch and we cum again, you moaning my name. After that, we both became unconscious".

The barbarian finished his story and walked away from the thief, Craig almost wanted to protest, until he saw the blond's smug smile and with the excitement going down a little bit, he realized all that had happened, how serious it had been for him, the devastating consequences that could bring him.

"Shit!" mumbled, Tweek laughed.

"Who'd say? Feldspar the thief is gay isn't that lewd behavior worthy of only savages like barbarians?

"Please, Tweek!" he begged, if he had done so last night, he had no dignity left to protect, and yet he begged, "please don't tell anyone about this! Don't tell anyone I'm an aberration, I'm begging you!

The blond's answer was a laugh.

"You are lucky, Craig, if it had been anyone else, you would be condemned to a sadder existence than this, but I am a barbarian and his principles do not guide me", he winked.

"Oh, thank god!"

"I have to go, I have to go to the office to get back to work,' he said as he sat up and walked out the door, he was already leaving when he stopped, to take one last look at the thief, he smiled again, "by the way, Craig, call me if you want to be an aberration with me again, you know where to find me".

And he left.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig has been looking for clandestine encounters with Tweek, however, tensions increase, it's time to really question that the feeling for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not english native speaker, so I'm sorry if I have some error. I hope that you enjoy reading.

He didn't know what drove him to go there, well he did, but even if he were dead he wouldn't admit it, as much as he had himself forced himself to bury that painful (and dangerous) event, he found himself looking for him as if he had learned nothing.

However, he had himself yielding to his desires, hell, not even that he liked the guy or was attracted to him at least that's what Craig tried to say every time he went on his quest, but with him and only with him could he stop hiding, hide that part of himself that as much as he wanted to bury it made him who he was.

That was just the reason why he wasn't at token's usual tavern, which was his first choice all along, token knew his favorite drinks and had him around quite often, you could say that at this point more than bartender and client were already friends. Instead, he was now in a bar near the elf kingdom, with Jimmy the bard doing a show, he was looking for someone.

And not just anyone, him.

Craig couldn't know for sure, but I definitely expected it, looking for it in the office would arouse suspicion of they, fortunately there he found it, that torso naked (he pretended not to see the hickey near the nipple he left him) despite being a bar the barbarian drank coffee.

Craig frowned because, although he was likely to be here, he would have preferred him to be in his office and not lied to him, so he took a seat right in front of the blond, and he coughed with irritation, and the son of a bitch just smiled at him with that charming smile that the thief hated.

"Hey Feldspar", he said, calmly.

"You said you were busy", said the thief, "this is not busy, Tweek".

"I am a faithful believer that a man drinking a cup of coffee quietly before going to an office is busy, my friend", replied the blond, with his usual speech, in contrast to his appearance as a savage, despite the tranquility and even arrogance that he wanted to convey his words and his smile, the thief could sense a hint of irritation.

"I am not here to listen to the sweetened words you take out of your mouth".

"I bet you wish that I do other things to you with my mouth", said the barbarian, pressing that nerve, which would soon make the thief hot and angry, very angry.

"You could stop making insinuations as unworthy of savages as you are for a moment!" Craig hissed, keeping his tone low enough to keep the conversation just between the two of them. "We were supposed to meet today and you canceled because you said you were busy, if you wanted coffee, you could make one in my fucking house like you always do".

"Your coffee sucks", Tweek cut off the claims of the thief, snapping his tongue, even though he did not have a frowny brow or anything to give away in his pose, Craig knew it, he had lived with him long enough to notice the little signs he showed like anger, "and you have not bothered to buy a better brand even though you know that I frequent you..." his eyes darkened, "you have not bothered to remove those offensive words towards me and my people".

"What?" said Craig, this attack was not to be expected, but he felt his face turn pale when he saw Tweek playing with his dagger, which he had placed on the table long before the thief arrived, a barbaric weapon.

"Well, you see, Craig, I've been thinking a lot -- believe it or not, the barbarians think", he attacked, "usually your people don't think good things of us, criticizing our way of life when we really don't hurt anyone, so I wasn't surprised that you addressed me in such an unfriendly manner, yet your hypocrisy has me a little annoyed, you know why?"

"Tweek I..." he didn't have time to say the sentence, the blond pulled him long enough for his lips to stick to his ear, Craig gasped, had recently discovered that his ears were quite sensitive, and he didn't know if Tweek was taking advantage of it.

"How what right does an imbecile like you call me a savage when you are practically the one who begs me to fuck him, the one who screams my name when he's inside me? How what fucking law?”

"Lower your voice..."

"I bet that part of you you're trying to hide is dying because we're doing it here in front of everyone", he went. "You hate us, Craig, and you know why? Because you wish with every fiber of your body that you to be like us...".

Craig felt the anger building up in his stomach, seriously, this idiot was daring to do an analysis, that fucking savage was thinking he had the right to criticize him.

"Shut the fuck up!" sounded a warning.

"You hate us because you can't be who you are. Who are you, Craig? Tell us!" Tweek was provoking, before Feldspar's hand could strike his face, he had already stopped him, violently (he was a barbarian, of course, he was stronger, even if it did not seem so). "I didn't feel like seeing you, I didn't feel like having sex with you, and I have a right, no matter how good you are in the act, after that you act so hypocritical that it tires me out. So I decided not today and it's no".

Feldspar remained silent because he understood it, it was painful, but yes, before Tweek, the fucking prince of the barbarians who disowned, he could have anyone in the tribe, one who wouldn't hide, one who wouldn't feel guilty.

"Is this over?" the thief asked for himself and the barbarian who was watching him, the blond sighed.

"I don't know, these weeks yes, in the long run, I don't know", he admitted, 'I think it is his duty first to put his head in order, Feldspar, I have no particular interest in being a counselor at this moment" added Tweek, regaining his customary eloquence.

Craig nodded, and though he had time not to, he decided to disappear with the help of the dark magic he still possessed.

The hours passed and he was at home, depressed? It's not like I ended a relationship, there wasn't a relationship, to begin with, there was just a Craig who had his tail between his legs with that barbarian begging for more.

When they did, and he had the pleasure of being sober, it was... inexplicable, a worthy ecstasy that could be compared to Saint Theresa's, he felt in heaven, he felt himself, but he had to hide it, he once wondered why he was not born among the barbarians where these carnal practices did not amount to an illegal act.

To then laugh, he... why would he want to be a savage?

Why did he miss Tweek's presence? It wasn't just the sex he'd probably lose, much to his chagrin the blond knew him, he knew facets of him that Craig himself didn't know; He couldn't.

When he was with Tweek, there were no manners, no lines, no protocols I had to follow. Because even as a thief, there were rules I could never break.

When the moon became the brightest light in the dark, the thief thought that sleep was the best, until the knocking at his door made him go there, when he opened his eyes earlier, there was an image of everything he hated and loved at the same time, the barbarian with a coffee pot in his arms:

"I regret my previous outburst in the bar, as you could see, I was not in my most opportune state of mind". Tweek said.

Craig looked at him, trying to avoid the smile that broke on his lips until he fixed his sight, blood, the blood ran between the union of the arm and the shoulder.

"What happened to you?" the thief exclaimed with horror, taking the boat to lighten the load of the injured limb.

"When I said I was busy, I meant it, I was only taking some time off before the confrontation, a raid between the borders, as you will see, I almost intact".

"What are you doing here? You should go to the doctor now...".

"I don't like the way the doctors treat me, so I prefer to cure myself in my tribe, or alone in cases not as dangerous as this one", he explained, "but I thought I'd leave you this, as I said your coffee stinks, and if I'm going to continue to frequent your house, there better start to be good coffee".

"Doesn't it hurt?", said the thief, he felt stupid, of course, he was in pain, but it had left him with his mind turned to mush, and he was probably blushing; it is not as if that man had not already seen him like that, so he did not give it any more importance.

"Yes, quite so, but I had to come here before I forgot; I shall go to my house now; I have a fairly complete first aid kit".

Feldspar did not hesitate a second when he proclaimed:

"I'll go with you".

As weird as it was, Tweek just nodded and walked next to the thief.

The house of the blond was the perfect blend between the natural and the urban, between the wild and civilized, at least for Craig, it was closer to the Zaron than it was to the tribe, but in actual words it seemed to be in the middle of both things, it had a big window in Tweek's room that allowed him to see the deep night and the stars illuminating everything.

Tweek returned from the bathroom with some bandages and concoctions, because the arm that was injured was his main arm (he was left-handed) he thanked Craig for being there to help him. Because his job as a thief also involved dealing with wounds, he seemed to know what he was doing, he could not prevent on the way that his eyes deviated from his partner's torso, being able to take a closer look at the little bites and hickeys that went through his body, which he had done to him.

"Admiring your work of art?" the barbarian joked and managed to shame the thief, who still did his work.

When it was over, she finally looked back at him.

"He's ready, try not to make any sudden moves these days", he said, Tweek nodded.

"Thanks, Craig".

"You're welcome" the blond's gentle smile gave him the confidence to ask, "can I stay here overnight?"

"Craig literally just said don't make any sudden moves and I think sleeping together is a sudden move", he said.

"Don't be stupid!" the thief laughed, trying to cover up the shame, he said, "I mean really sleep, I simply want to forget Zaron for one night".

"Is there a reason?".

"Can I or can't I?".

"Yes, but I only have one bed", said Tweek.

"As if we hadn't slept together before...".

" _Touché_ ".

Already entering the night with both men one at each corner the silence became present, a silence filled with doubts and unspoken things, as if it were automatic, the two turned in unison to face each other. The amber and green of his eyes melted in his eyes waiting...

"Hey, Tweek?".

"Tell me".

"You were supposed to be king, but you abdicated... why didn't you take the charge?" asked the thief, "as far as I know, they prepare the princes from a young age for that moment, here in Zaron and in China".

Tweek blinked with surprise as if it was the last thing, he thought Craig would ask, it had its logic after all the thief didn't seem interested in the savage barbarians.

"To tell the truth, yes, they prepare us", he replied, "but as I grew up I realized that I was not ready, that I did not have the temper to lead a people, I am chaotic, I am nervous, I did not have the attitude to lead a people", he began, and then looked at Craig and sigh. "They're all true things, but I thought them in the background... the truth is I'm selfish Craig, I didn't want to give up my freedom, being king, although of the barbarians means I would have an obligation behind my back, to create inheritance, to decide what's best for everyone, and not always what I wanted. It was too much pressure, so... I abdicated".

Craig remained silent processing his words, until his hand acted alone, removing a curl from the barbarian's face, then when he looked into his big, confused eyes he knew he should have no secrets, not for Tweek.

"When I was a child, my family and I lived near where the barbarian camp was, I could always see them, free, if they were angry, frightened, or simply if they wanted to shout, cry, and express their emotions as they felt them, it was wonderful", he began, "but I realized that this did not apply to me, it must be serious, quiet, thinking before talking and not talking too much, because this was full of potential enemies. Even when my parents were killed and it was just my sister and I understood", he shut up for a moment. "So, I hid everything from me because if they found out I was gay, they'd kill me and then some fucking idiot captured me, nobody but the prince of the barbarians, so free, so jolly. It wasn't fair".

"I..."

"When I found out with a hangover that the same pretty boy I hated so much and I, well we have fucked, it was a hard blow".

"Do you hate me?" the blond asked very quickly, and Craig smiled as he held her hand.

"I was envied you because you represent everything he wanted and it is beyond my reach", he confessed.

"I want to kiss you..."

"I do not know how to do this", Craig continued, "I do not know how to be a lover if I am discovered, they will kill me..."

"I don't expect you to be my lover, Craig", consoled the blond, but Craig snorted.

"But I want, I want to be your lover, Tweek", he went up to his nose rubbing. "I want you to kiss me".

And so, he did.


End file.
